Holy Quail!

Tea smoked quail with oriental coleslaw

An unusual account is recorded in Numbers 11. It begins with the Israelites short of food and looking for a little meat:

"Therefore the LORD will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall not eat one day, or two days, or five days, or ten days, or twenty days, but a whole month, until it omes out at your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you." - Numbers 11:18-20

Therefore, as you can imagine, God, being the God of Love that he is, sends them a little meat:

"And there went forth a wind from the LORD, and it brought quails from the sea, and let them fall beside the camp, about a day's journey on this side, and a day's journey on the other side, round about the camp, and about two cubits above the face of the earth." - Numbers 11:31

Now, let's calculate just how many quail are involved here. Most bible dictionaries (see net.bible.org)consider a day's journey to be approximately 20 miles (32.1 kilometres). Therefore, a circle with a radius of 2 miles (3.2 kilometres) would have an area of 1,256 square miles (2,021 kilometres). The quail filled this area to a depth of 2 cubits, or 35 inches (88.9 centimetres).

This makes 102 billion cubic feet (31 billion cubic metres) of quail. The quail is a fairly small bird, averaging about a pound (453 grams) in weight, and 13 inches (33 centimetres) in height. Based on this size, each quail would occupy 0.72 cubit feet. Therefore, God must have blessed the Israelites with approximately 142 billion quail. Shiver me timbers! That's over 47,000 quail for every Israelite. It must have been like an early version of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.

Now, I'm not sure what the world population of quail is, however, the current world population of chickens is about 24 Billion (see Wikipedia - 24 billion chickens in 2003). Chickens likely outnumber quail by at least 100 to 1, since chickens are commonly raised in huge commercial quantities in our modern, crowded earth. When the Israelites asked God for a little meat, little did they suspect that he would respond with over 500 times the entire world population of quail.

Before I finish with the quail, I must point out the end result of the meat harvest.

"While the meat was yet between their teeth, before it was consumed, the anger of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD smote the people with a very great plague." - Numbers 11:33

I thought God said that they would get to eat the quail for a whole month? This Jehovah fellow isn't a nice person at all, is he?

Raising Cain - Part 3

The First President of PETA

Welcome to the final part of Raising Cain

The City of Enoch

This is my favorite part of the story. Consider the list of problems that arise from this
simple phrase:

• Cain was a fugitive and a wanderer. How could he found a city?
• The progress of civilisation to the point of urbanisation was still well into the future.
• What would be his purpose in building a city? There are numerous reasons to build a city, including things like protection, specialisation of trades, or being a centre for distribution. Considering the population at the time (one family of about three generations), none of these reasons would exist.
• Where would he get the people to inhabit the city? Enoch was the third generation from Adam. If Adam and Eve had ten surviving children, and each of their children paired up and had ten children, the world population would be 62. Even if you made some ridiculous assumptions about reproduction, the number would still not be enough to populate a village, let alone a city.
• Where would they get the surrounding population? In the early days of civilisation, before the automation of agriculture, it was impossible for urban centres to achieve populations of greater than 1% or 2% of the region’s total population. It required 50-100 farmers to grow enough food to support themselves and one city dweller. Huge cities, like Athens and Rome, did not develop until many centuries later and even then, they sat upon world empires. If the city of Enoch was very small, say 1,000 in population, the surrounding region must have had a population of between 50,000 and 100,000. This is approximately 1,000 times the population implied by the Bible. So, once again, I must ask, where did they get the people?

At this point, I must address one other housekeeping issue. The Bible says that Adam lived for 930 years. Other early Bible characters lived for similar lengths of time. It could be argued that this would allow for plenty of time for the population to grow.

Well, this argument is a long one, so for this chapter, I will consider it adequate to say that those long life spans are hogwash, and refer you to the chapter entitled "Of Numbers, Poop, and Other Things".

Cain's Wife

Up to this point, we have not even addressed the issue that started this discussion:

• Where did Cain get his wife?

The story implies, in many respects including this one, that there were other people around and about. Yet, the Bible story does not allow for this. All persons are descended from Adam and Eve. There were no other people. So, the only source for Cain’s wife would be his own sister.

This raises some interesting questions. For example, how does one go about courting one’s sister? I don’t suppose their courtship took the normal course, i.e. Cain meeting her at a party and chatting her up. I expect his pick up line looked something like this:

"So, baby, if I were the only man on earth, would you go out out with me?" I bet it worked every time.

Then you have to wonder, did he ask her father for her hand? And, would Adam have declined, perhaps objecting to Cain’s religion (he was a bad sacrificer), or maybe to the fact that he was not just a convict, he was the world’s first and only convict? Apparently, Adam’s daughters must have liked "the bad boys".

In Conclusion

God’s not a very competent handyman. Notice that there were four people on the earth. Two of them had committed the original sin, supposedly the worst crime in history. One was a murderer. The other was dead. That’s not a very good track record. God must not have manufactured humans very well, since the first four models broke down.

Most of the problems in this story arise from the fact that it takes place in the very early days of the human race. The writer seems to have forgotten that point, and tells the story as if there were large quantities of people, even entire cities and countries in existence.

But, as we have seen, there are many other flaws as well. In summary, if you take this story literally, you find that there is a problem in virtually every phrase of the story. In fact, the list of problems is even longer than the story, itself.

Raising Cain - Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of the Bible account of Cain and Abel. Like most Bible related stories, prepare yourself thoroughly, for the logic of the Bible can cause nausea

The Sacrifices

For some reason, these two boys got it into their heads that God liked gifts. There is no
record of sacrifices prior to this point. The concept of sacrifice appears to be a later development that is transposed back on this ancient setting by a later writer. Where did Cain and Abel get this idea and how did they know what to offer? In particular, how could they possibly have known that God preferred dead animals over vegetables? Actually, this whole preference seems to be backwards. You would think that God would not want his precious, freshly created animals to be slaughtered and hacked up. If anything, the produce of their farm would be humanity's most valuable possession and would therefore be the most valued sacrifice. Let's not forget, some religions and cults believe that humans only ate fruit and veg at that time.

Let’s modernise this a bit. Imagine that you have two children. One of them picks a flower and presents it to his mother as a gift. The other one slits the dog's throat and throws him on the barbie. Which is the good one? I think God should rethink this part of the story and make Abel the bad guy.

The Land of Nod

This part of the story makes no sense to me whatsoever. With only four people on the planet, why would there be another country?

The New World Translation of the Bible makes things even worse. It translates this name, not as the Land of Nod, but as the Land of Fugitiveness. Not only is this grammatically suspect, but it raises the problem: If there are only four people on the planet and there has never before been a crime, there would be no fugitives, let alone enough of them to require their own "Land".

Cain's Sentence

The Bible is pretty generous with the death penalty. It is prescribed for just about everything from blasphemy to gathering grain on the Sabbath. It is especially adamant about murder. Yet, for some reason, with God himself acting as judge, Cain was not sentenced to death, even though he killed 25% of the population of the earth. You would think that God would want to make an example of him. This is an interesting precedent, that advocates of capital punishment might want to consider.

As part of his sentence, Cain must become a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth. Therefore, he moves away, gets married, has children and creates a city. That doesn't sound like either a fugitive or a wanderer. Apparently, Cain's only punishment was the requirement to move to another region. That's not much of a punishment. In my life, I have moved several times. By my count, I have at least four free murders coming.

The Sign

Cain was concerned that someone would find him and kill him. It is also implied that there would be people around who knew he was a killer, but did not know that God had let him off.

This issue raises numerous concerns. First of all, why would anyone kill him? There was no man-made or god-made law that prescribed the death penalty for murderers. Cain had been judged by God and received his sentence. Everyone on the planet must have known it. Why would Cain think that there would be people who would kill him? Besides, who would be Abel's avenger? His father and mother would have known the story and Cain was his only brother. It is almost as if the story writer has forgotten how many people occupy the earth and feels that Abel would have close relatives or friends who would come seeking revenge.

Likewise, why would Cain need identification? I am getting tired of mentioning that there were only four people around at the time.

Finally, where would he get the idea of revenge? There had never been any crime before, so obviously, there would never have been revenge up to this point. His concern seems to be based on a fairly well developed tradition of law, punishment and vengeance. These traditions were still centuries in the future.

Stay tuned for the final part of the story, next Thursday, 17th September 2010.

Raising Cain - Part 1

God Loves Dead Animals

A number of years ago, a close friend of mine had an unusual experience. At the time, she was also still a Jehovah's Witness. While she was going from door to door, giving out the Watchtower and Awake magazines, she encountered a man at one of the doors. Out the blue, the man asked her, "Do you know where Cain got his wife?" Before she could muster a reply, he answered his own question, "He married an ape. That's where we get the ape man."

This is a perfect example of how a very small amount of information can be worse than none at all. However, it does bring up a more serious issue. The Bible story of Cain and Abel is fraught with difficulties. This is a three part story on Cain and Abel, therefore let's run through a quick refresher of the story, and then examine some of the problems.

The Story of Cain and Abel

At the time of this story, the Bible tells us that Adam and Eve had two children, Cain and
Abel. Abel was a shepherd, and Cain was a farmer.

One day, they went to offer sacrifices. Cain brought his best produce, while Abel killed a sheep, and offered the fat pieces. God was pleased with Abel, but not with Cain. So, Cain became jealous, and killed his brother.

God then went looking for Abel, and couldn’t find him. So he asked Cain. After accusing him of murdering Abel, he sentenced him to banishment. He would be cursed and must move to the “Land of Nod”, where he would be a fugitive and a wanderer.

Cain feared for his life. He was afraid that if anyone found him, they would kill him. So, God put a “mark”, or as some translations put it, a “sign”, on Cain, which indicated that if anyone killed him, he would be avenged seven times.

Cain then accepted his banishment. He went to live in Nod, where he married and had a son. He then built a city, which he named Enoch, after his son.

This story is very short. In only twenty three sentences, it raises several thought provoking classical literary themes. In this chapter, I will deal with none of them. Instead, I will focus on the problems encountered by those who are foolish enough to believe that this story literally happened, just as the Bible records it.

Abel the Shepherd

The first problem that we encounter may be unique to some of the more silly brands of fundamentalism. Having come from one of these, I must deal with it.

Jehovah's Witnesses and some others, believe that humans did not eat meat until after the flood. Therefore, for approximately 1,600 years from creation to the flood, humans were vegetarians. They did not begin eating meat until this privilege was granted to humans in Genesis 9:3. In fact, Jehovah's Witnesses go one step further. They believe that even animals were vegetarians until after the flood. They believe that grass is the natural, god-intended food for lions and cheetahs. Fossils of carnivorous dinosaurs are rather troublesome to them, so they ignore them. Also, if God created the cheetah with such phenomenal speed, did there used to be a plant that could run? If you're a Jehovah's Witness, the answer to that question is yes.

This creates an interesting problem in the Cain and Abel story. As you recall, Abel was a shepherd. Now, don't forget that there are only four people on the planet. Acquisition of food must have been their top priority.

The question arises, if they didn't eat meat, what was Abel doing with all those sheep? Either he was a huge slacker (imagine 25% of the planetary labour force piddling around with their pets when they should be working), or he had some other purpose for them. Don't forget that there were no women, other than their mother. I will say no more.

Cain the Farmer

Again, remember that there were only four people on the earth (fair enough, it's possible that
maybe there were some other, unmentioned children at this time, but certainly not more than a handful, which doesn't materially change our story).

Now, we know that civilisation goes through various phases of development. It begins with hunter/gatherer, then progresses to nomadic, agricultural, and finally, urban. Cain seems to have progressed straight to agricultural, which is more than a little strange. The Hebrew nation at the time of Abraham, 2,500 years later, was still in the nomadic phase. They must have moved backwards.

To top it off, at the end of the story, Cain built a city. Civilization appears to have developed at lightening speed.

Part 2 will go live next Thursday, 9th September 2010.

In The Beginning - Part 2

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth." - Genesis 1:26

The Adam and Eve Hypothesis

The story of Adam and Eve is one of the most enjoyable in the Bible.  It is colourful and captures the imagination.  It also addresses numerous classical literary themes.  But, it also contains some humorous errors.  Let’s begin with a quick review of the story.

Genesis chapter one commences the story, but chapter two begins by retelling the creation story.  But, this time, it’s different. The order of creation is changed and God appears to be more human-like.  In the first
chapter, God is basically a magician – waving his wand, and poof! Things come into existence.  In the second chapter, he is more of a handiman.  He plants a garden, enjoys walking in it, assembles a human out of spare parts and converses with his creatures.  He is also a little bit of a stinker.  In addition to planting a garden, he also plants a trap.  Clearly, this chapter was written by a different person from a different time period.

The action begins with the creation of Adam.  God assigns him the task of naming the animals.  Then he realises that he has made an oversight.  He has created males and females of all of the animals, but he has forgotten to make a female human.

Now, up to this point, God has miraculously willed the universe into existance.  Yet, when it comes to creating one more thing, a female human, he finds it necessary to look for parts.  Fortunately, he placed a superfluous rib in Adam.  So, he anesthetises the man, removes the spare rib, and builds himself a chick – Eve.

Adam and Eve have a good time, frolicking naked in the garden (innocently, of course). They have no concept of right or wrong.  They do not realise they are naked. Apparently, they don’t have sex until much later.

Everything is going just fine, until God sets a trap.  God gives them every tree of the garden for food.  But, he forbids them to eat the fruit of one of the trees.  He says that "in the day that you eat of it you shall die."  (Genesis 2:17)  Remember these words.

Now, you have to wonder about the mentality of a being that would do something like this.  Adam and Eve are young and innocent.  God then entices them with a succulent tree that promises to give them knowledge.  He forbids them from eating it, under penalty of death.  Why would anyone create beautiful and perfect humans only to plant a trap for the purpose of punishing and killing them?  This is like placing a bear trap in a playground, and covering it with toys.  Anyway, Adam and Eve are so innocent that they don’t even bother with the tree.

What do you make of the story up to this point?  If your answer is that it's completely wacky, you wouldn't be far off the mark.  You see, I'm having trouble believing this as it is. So, what does the author now do? That’s right, bring on the talking snake. But not just any snake.  Not a smart ass snake, for comic relief, or even a straightman snake to be a sounding board for Adam’s philosophy.  The Bible says, "Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God say, `You shall not eat of any tree of the garden'?" –Genesis 3:1.  

Not only is this snake "subtle", but apparently, it can talk and even walk, as we shall see later.

Is it my imagination, or is the word "subtle" a rather unusual choice for describing a snake?  I didn't grow up on a farm, but I would be hard pressed to characterise any animals as subtle.  It’s just not a word that you use for animals.  It’s like referring to a cow as "buffoonish".

Notice that the snake tells the truth ("your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil"), whereas God lies ("in the day that you eat of it you shall die.").

So, Eve figures, "What the heck?" and eats the fruit.  Surprisingly, the fact that she has just conversed with a snake does not cause her to pause.  She focuses on what the snake has said.

I find this a little odd.  If I came home from work, and my dog said, "Hey, how’s it going?", I would be far more interested in his speaking ability than his message. Anyway, back to the story.

After eating the fruit, Eve gives some to Adam, and he eats it, too.  Then God catches them.  He asks Adam if he has eaten the fruit.  Adam’s first reaction is normal.  He blames his wife.  That doesn’t go over well, so then he blames the snake.

What does our grand creator do next? He curses the humans.  He tells them that they will die in that very day. True to form, Adam dies 930 years later of natural causes.  I think God’s magic wand needs a tune up.  As I mentioned earlier, the Bible is understood to be speaking literally, unless it says something stupid, at which point it becomes figurative.  The 930 years was one big-ass figurative day; kind of like the creative days. God specifically curses Eve to pain in childbirth, then throws them out of the garden.  He then blocks the way with a flaming sword, which wouldn't be invented for centuries. Looks as though God invented the sword; the first weapon. Kind of ironic, don't you think?

As regards the sword, God puts it there for one reason, to protect another sacred tree, the Tree of Life.  I've written an article on the implications of the Tree of Life and you read all about it here. I will, at a later date, come back to the point of the Tree of Life and write another article on it, as its involvement with the Christian faith is fundamentally important and should not be overlooked.

God is really in a cursing mood.  He even curses the snake:  "Because you have done this, cursed are you above all cattle, and above all wild animals; upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life" – Genesis 3:14

This strikes me as a rather unusual curse.  First of all, the snake has been cursed above the cattle, you know – the buffoonish ones.  Why are cattle cursed?  I can picture one of them looking up, mouth full of straw and asking, "Hey, what did we do?"  If snakes can talk, why can’t cows? Secondly, if the snake is now cursed to go on his belly, just precisely how did snakes "go" prior to the curse?  They don’t have legs.  Finally, does
God actually think that snakes "eat dust"?

To me, God’s reaction seems a little over the top.  Eating some fruit that is off limits is about on par with a parking ticket.  Yet, God sentences Adam and Eve and every human who has ever lived, to the death penalty. God should get a little perspective.

If this story is considered to be a fable, it can be very instructive.  There are some interesting correlations in this story.  First of all, knowledge is linked to pain and death. This is significant on so many levels.  Some persons, like Galileo, have suffered for revealing the truth.  It is a testament to the human spirit that people will be willing to suffer and die for knowledge.

Also, this chapter contains the implication that freedom is more valuable than life.  Life without freedom is not worth living.

Thirdly, from an evolutionary perspective, knowledge is indeed linked with pain in childbirth.  Newborn humans have an exceptionally large head for their body size.  It is our mental capacity (knowledge) that sets us apart from the animals and makes human childbirth painful.  The Bible writer unwittingly made a link that is very profound.

Finally, the two parallel accounts of creation can give us insight in the intellectual development of early civilisation.

Unfortunately, these observations are lost on those who literally believe the words of the Bible.

Is the Bible Scientifically Accurate?

The short answer is 'no'. The long answer is 'hell no', and this post will explain why.

Some religions claim that proof of the Bible's authenticity is its scientific accuracy which was 'way ahead of its time'. They ramble off now famous examples of 'the Earth is a circle' and 'hanging upon nothing'.

Circle. Circle. Circle. I say it three times and it's still circle. It didn't suddenly become 'sphere'. The Hebrew word in the bible for circle meant circle - a 2D shape or object - NOT as some would argue a 3D sphere. The bible elsewhere mentions the 'four corners of the earth', which, after no consideration at all, is obvious to me that holy intervention hasn't taken place.

The Genesis account has an abundance of flaws in it, such as the plants being created before the sun on which they depend upon to survive. We also have the global flood issue. All scientific claims with no evidence. Other passages in the bible such as Joshua 10:13, talk about the sun and moon standing still.

No, religionists can try to reconcile their beliefs with Science as some Christians do with evolution. It's still not 100% but it's a lot better than, say, Muslims who reject Evolutionary FACT and believe the creation myth in the Qur'an.

This isn't a restaurant menu. It's not a pick and chose happy hour. When something
is true, it is true. You can't chose to believe creation and reject evolution and be intellectually honest. It's not a choice! The Earth travels around the sun. Fact. Evolution - fact. Get that fact into your head, religionists. It's not a 'theory' in the sense you mean it. It. Is. Fact. Get your heads out of your rear end and accept it. Reconcile your beliefs if you have to but please stop with the sheer stupidity of rejecting proven science.

In The Beginning - Part 1

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." - Genesis 1:1

Every good story begins at the beginning, and this one is no exception.  What better place to start a book about the Bible, than with the Bible’s opening sentence?

Now, as you might have guessed by my About Me and AtheistsWeekly.com article, the Bible and I part ways fairly quickly – to be exact, somewhere between the third and fourth words of the Bible’s opening verse.

To begin, the Bible opens with the phrase “in the beginning”.  I am in total agreement with this.  This is one of the two most popular theories on the subject (either the universe had a beginning or it didn’t), and it happens to be the one that both I and the Bible favour. Up to this point, I am a big fan of the Bible.

However, it is with the fourth word of the Bible that I take exception and from that point on, my viewpoint grows ever more distant.  But, after all, what kind of an atheist would I be, if I granted God even a toehold in this story?  In fact, it is my objection to the concept of God that spawned the entire thesis of this blog.  If God exists and he has authored a book, then it should be a pretty good one.  There should be no contradictions, errors, or logical flaws;  it should be clear, easy to read, consistent and accessible;  and, it goes without saying that it should be morally irreprehensible.

Unfortunately, the book that is purported to be God’s official communication with humans contains all of these flaws, in abundance.  And these flaws are in evidence in the opening scene, probably more than any other.

As the Biblical curtain draws open, the scene shows nothing – no physical universe and no heaven.  The first article of business is to get this empty space filled.  Therefore, God creates these two things.  He then goes on to populate the universe with living things, including plants, animals, and humans.

Knowing God, he naturally has to do things the hard way.  Consider the order of creation:

• Day 1:  Created light  
• Day 2:  Created the sky and separate water above and below the sky “firmament”  
• Day 3:  Land and sea separated, plants and trees created   
• Day 4:  Created the sun, moon, and stars, and installed them in the firmament  
• Day 5:  Created aquatic animals and birds  
• Day 6:  Created land animals and humans   
• Day 7:  Day off

That was quite a week.  In early times, the Bible was taken at its word, meaning that all of this took place in seven literal days.  Over time, scientifically astute humans began to realise that not only was this not possible, but there was ample evidence that life and other creations were far older than allowed by the Bible.

Therefore, to fix this problem, enterprising Christians reinterpreted the word “Day” to mean a longer period of time - perhaps a thousand years, or maybe even seven thousand years.  Others came to realise that even this interpretation didn’t work, so “Day” began to mean an era or epoch.  You will notice throughout the Bible, that whenever it makes a statement that is either impossible or ridiculous, the statement becomes “symbolic”.
Obviously, that technique becomes necessary very early in the book.  It continues to be essential right up to the last chapter of Revelation.

Now, take a look at the order of creation.  Notice that the first thing that God created was light.  That was a good idea.  Unfortunately, he forgot to create the main light source for the earth – the sun.  I assume he used giant heat lamps to make up for the oversight.  Also notice that he made plants before he made the sun - mostly frozen vegetables, I suspect.

The wording of this portion of the Bible is also rather odd.  God consistently calls the sky a “firmament”.  This is a strange choice of words.  I can’t think of anything distinctly less “firm” than the sky.  He then considerately arranges the sun, moon, and stars in the sky in such a position that they can be the most useful to humans.

Apparently, the Bible writer had an earth-centric view of the universe, and did not fully understand the role of the sun in providing heat, light and energy.  Perhaps God should have spent less time gluing up stars, and more time destroying evidence.  He left a lot of fossils and geological evidence that contradicts his story.

Overall, the creation account is riddled with errors that force the reader to relegate this entire chapter to the myth bin.  In fact, this chapter is such an easy target, that I think I will skip the rest of it entirely, and move to the next Bible chapter, where we can have a little more fun.

Stay tuned for Part 2 (next Thursday, 26th August 2010), where I will discuss the Adam and Eve hypothesis.