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| Better than harvesting skin, right? |
For instance, the clear and uncontested winner was a man with the unenviable profession of "Septic Tank Diver". Apparently, this fellow dresses in a sealed wet suit, attaches a mask and oxygen tank and then dives into huge pools of poop. I guess when you think about it, someone has to perform repairs on the interior of huge urban sewage treatment facilities. You just never think it will happen to you, and if it does, you expect to be paid more than €10.00 per hour (C$13.32, A$13.40, £8.50 and $13.25) for that luxury.
Now, a person naturally has to wonder how a worker gets recruited to this job. I don’t imagine that any young person grows up with the aspiration of someday becoming a septic tank diver. I would also think that running an ad in your local Classifieds section wouldn’t have many takers either. It must be more of a conscription process. Possibly, the workers in the plant sit around looking at each other, asking who will do the job. Finally, someone breaks and accepts it. Maybe straws of varying lengths are involved. More likely, the management of the plant searches out a semi-skilled diver and makes him an offer he can’t refuse, with one of the perks being the €10.00 per hour remuneration.
Either way, I’ll take sitting at a computer and debunking the Bible and other religious texts any day. You see, having launched AtheistsWeekly.com, I thought it would have been tiresome, but in fact, it's so easy!
As many of you know, I was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness, and the Jehovah's Witness Organisation keeps drumming it into you to "read the Bible daily". Well, I decided to take up their advice. After reading the first few pages in Genesis, I couldn't believe they would actually ask anyone to "read the Bible daily", for it's one of the funniest books I've ever had the pleasure of reading, which then led me to start exposing the rubbish found within it. If you've been following the articles and have been reading along with me from your own Bible, you'll understand why I used the word "rubbish".
Anyway, let's get back to my topic.
The Bible mentions several unsavoury activities, focusing primarily on the purpose and effect of the action, without any attention given to the persons who performed it. Like our septic tank diver, these people found themselves in some of the worst professions known to mankind. I think it’s time they got the recognition they deserved. Let’s visit some of them.
Foreskin Harvester
Consider this account from the life and times of King David:David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines; and David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king's son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife. - 1 Samuel 18:27
The story, as told in the Bible, hits the major high points. Wannabe king David, kills some of his enemies, brings the evidence to the king, and is richly rewarded. Unfortunately, it glosses over the logistics of the situation that we all know are necessary.
These foreskins didn’t just jump into a bucket for David. Someone had to slice these puppies off of the cadavers, and perform general inventory functions such as counting, storing, transporting, etc. I don’t imagine it was done by the incoming king, either. Likely, the distasteful job fell to the staff person or persons with the least seniority. I can picture it now:
David: Bep-hasal, who is the lowest paid employee on my payroll?
Bep-hasal: Oh, that would be Palihoikim.
David: Hmm. I need this Palihoikim fellow to do a job for me.
Bep-hasal: I was under the impression that Jonathan took care of all your needs?
David: No, not that. I need a certain job done that requires the skills of this Palihoikim fellow. Go and call for him will you.
Next week, we'll look at what skills one needs if they are to apply for the Haemorrhoid Clerk position and the Testicle Inspector position respectively.
