In this weeks article, I would like to look at some other gaffs this God fellow has made.
You would think that the guy who created life, the universe, and everything in it, would have a pretty good knowledge of how things work. But God managed to display the scientific knowledge typical of a bronze-age nomadic sheep-herder. Let’s spend a day in Gods classroom.
The Universe According to God.
"Let there be a dome to divide the water and to keep it in two separate places... and it was done. So God made a dome, and it separated the water under it from the water above it." – Genesis 1:6,7
In the above passage, we see that God put up a dome over the earth, to keep out the water that was in the upper "firmament". This is where he got the water for the flood, obviously.
"You stretch the heavens out like a tent, you build your palace on the waters above.... You water the mountains from your palace." - Psalm 104:3,13
God lives up above the upper firmament, and turns taps on and off. The heavens are thin, like a tent canvas.
All the stars of the heavens will be dissolved and the sky rolled up like a scroll all the starry host will fall like withered leaves from the vine, like shrivelled figs from the fig tree. – Isaiah 34:4
Therefore, the sky is thin and can be rolled up. Stars are also small and can fall to earth, presumably when the glue gets old.
Can you join him in spreading out the skies, hard as a mirror of cast bronze? – Job 37:18
I could go on like this for a long time, but I assume you get the point. For instance, there are references to the "foundations" and "pillars" of the earth, and its "socket pedestals". But, the point is made; God really didn’t have a clue that the earth was spherical, revolved around the sun, and that stars are actually distant suns.
Biology according to God
Well, I would expect God to do a little better in this field of study. After all, he created plants, animals, and humans. Let’s take a look:And the hare, because it chews the cud but does not part the hoof, is unclean to you. – Leviticus 11:6
God actually thought that hares chewed their cud. It was an easy mistake to make, because if you put a rabbit in a cage without food, before long, you will notice it chewing something. Like many animals, it will eat its own faeces in order to gain nutrients from undigested material. It’s the type of mistake that a casual observer might make.
All winged insects that go upon all fours are an abomination to you. Yet among the winged insects that go on all fours you may eat those which have legs above their feet, with which to leap on the earth. – Leviticus 1:20,21
Has anyone seen a winged insect that goes on all fours? And, what’s up with "legs above their feet"?
And these you shall have in abomination among the birds, they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, the vulture, the osprey... the stork, the heron according to its kind, the hoopoe, and the bat. – Leviticus 11:13,19
Here is another mistake that a casual observer would make. The bat flies like a bird, but is actually a mammal.
As well, God seems to think that dragons (Isa 13:22), satyrs (Isa 13:21), and unicorns (Isa 34:7) actually existed. Please note that some translations have removed those words so as to save themselves from shame, which is a shame, because up till now, I thought the Bible was a library of comedy.
I won’t take a detailed look into the creation account, since that was covered in earlier articles and you can view them by reviewing the archive. However, don’t forget that God made plants before the sun. He also created the various types of animals in the wrong order; even though the fossil record shows otherwise.
What did God get in his biology examination?
First Name: Jehovah
Last Name: God
Lesson: Biology
Mark: F
Oh well, at least God gets a chance to redeem himself in next weeks concluding part of The Holy Bible and Science, when he gets tested on Physics and Mathematics.
